The truth: I covet
I want. I want. I want. I spend a lot of time focusing on the things I want.
I want longer hair.
I want thinner thighs.
I want a flatter belly.
I want to write full time.
I want to go to graduate school.
I want to be a foreign correspondent.
I want a bigger house.
I want a smaller house in a different, more exciting town.
I want to travel.
I want Botox (again).
I want more, hipper clothes.
I want to spend more time with my kids.
I want to read more books.
I want more time in my days.
I want to be my daughter’s room mom.
I want to take Shelby to all her activities.
I want to sign the kids up for my extra circular activities: drama classes, yoga, swimming, etc.
I want to paint and create more.
I want. I want. I want.
I’m pretty sure I’m no different than anyone else, but I feel like I spend way too much time looking at what everyone else has and feeling like I need more, like my life isn’t as great as it could be. It makes me rather ungrateful. The more I think about all the things I want, the worse I feel. Instead, I should be thinking about all the things I have.
I have two healthy happy kids.
I have a good job with excellent health care.
I have a beautiful home.
I have a wonderful best friend of 25 years. Not everyone gets to have a friendship like that.
I have in laws who not only adore my kids, but step in and help all the time.
I have more “things” than one person deserves — iPads, an iPhone, laptops, books, clothes, two cars — and the list goes on and on.
I have a clean bill of health after earlier this year when my doctor discovered two tumors on my ovary and had to have them surgically removed.
I have a husband who is trying so hard to be a better person.
I have. I have. I have. That sounds so much better than I want, I want, I want. If I could only reprogram my brain and spend more time thinking … I have. I have. I have.
I’m blessed. I’m blessed. I’m blessed.
***********************************************July 11, 2012
Posted in Documenting, Memory Keeping, Right now