Me heart is breaking

The best dog. EVER.

Journaling reads:

"Cassius is my best friend and he's been my best friend my whole life."

-- Shelby, Feb. 6, 2012
Our beloved boxer, Cassius, is terminally ill with cancer that has left him with uncomfortable tumors, the inability to digest food and a generally depressed disposition. He'll be euthanized on Wednesday. We're all heartbroken, most especially Shelby. So, I decided to make this scrapbook page for her, because that's what I do :)  I'm going to print it out and frame it so she can put it up in her room. She's so sad and I hope this helps her, even if just a little bit ... 

I have kept it together until today. It's suddenly so real and since the kids are at school and can't see me ... the tears have just been pouring down my cheeks. Last night, Shelby said to me  "A girl shouldn't have to go through this." And she's right. If I could have stopped this or protected her (and him) from this, I would have. But I can't. I couldn't. And now, as my heart breaks, I have to figure out the answer to her latest question, "Mom, what's it going to be like without Cassius?"

I just don't know.