A few Saturdays back, I got an email from Shelby's teacher. It was an invitation to an award's ceremony. Shelby was to receive an award for her character. There wasn't much detail, but that little bit of information sent my heart a flutter.
Not five minutes before that message landed in my inbox, I was lamenting to a group of kindreds that I'm not sure I'm the best mother. I'm constantly doubting myself. I don't think a day goes by that I don't ask myself these questions:
- Am I doing enough?
- Am I teaching them all the most important life lessons?
- Will my meltdown scar them for life?
- Am I around enough?
The email from Shelby's teacher was tangible evidence that I am indeed doing a good job as a mother. Being a good mother is incredibly important to me. It's the most important work I'll do in this life. And I desperately want to get it right. I beat myself up all the time, telling myself I'm not cutting it. But the evidence says otherwise.
Sitting with my kindreds, they challenged me to start looking for the evidence and recording magical moments in my life. It was pure synchronicity (magic) that I got the email about Shelby award at the exact moment I was bashing my parenting skills. Normally, I'd just brush it off. With a little help from friends, I realized that it was the universe telling me otherwise and there is magic in moments like this.
Being present is tough for me. I spend a lot of time stuck in my head replaying sad stories or obsessing over the lists of things I have to do. I can often be that mom, wife or friend who is so zoned out I won't hear you call my name, even if you say it four or five times. I'm lost in my thoughts. A lot.
Not being present makes it so hard to see the magic all around us. But as soon as you commit to looking for it, it smacks you in the face. Seriously! It's there. It's been there all along. You just have to stop and look.
My magic journal has been traveling with me through life the last few weeks. Having the journal with me all the time has made me more present. It made me realize that I didn't have an emotional meltdown when I got a ticket thanks to one of those crappy traffic cameras. Normally I'd cry and then stew for days. In this instance, I stomped my foot and then said to myself, "Oh well. It's done and there's nothing I can do to change it." And I let it float away. This was magic. Seriously. I don't let things like that go. But I did. And I was so proud of myself. I wrote it down in my journal as more evidence that my life has magic.
Shelby and Cooper have a running came of Slug Bug going. The play it whenever we're in the car. Most of the time I don't see in Volkswagen Bugs and I don't play along. Since I've been looking for magic, I see Bugs everywhere. And I've started joining in the fun. I've taken pictures of Bugs to text home to the kids when I travel, so I still get to play along. Every time I see a Slug Bug, I write it down in my journal. More evidence that my life has magic.
Not long ago I was writing an article for Care.com. It's about how to teach children about teasing (when it's okay and when it's bad). I interviewed a children's book author who writes about social and emotional issues in a way kids can totally understand. At the end of the interview, she very kindly told me I could call her any time, about anything. This is magic. I want to write a children's book. This is exactly the person I need to talk to and learn from. She landed in my lap and because I was paying attention to the magic of this world, I saw the awesomeness her offer.
Over and over again I'm seeing evidence of magic in my life. And the more I look for it, the move I see. And the more I see, the more I want. I can't help but think that I'm being showered with magic because deep in my soul I asked for it. And all the universe wants from us is to ask and receive with an open heart.
Ask for some magic today. And then open your heart to receive it. It will come. It will pour down on you. I know it will. My magic journal tells me so.