I recently put my foot down: pedicure time is now "mama only time." Much to the disappointment of my daughter, I'm no longer letting her (and sometimes her brother) come and get pedicures with me. I'm sudden a vet mean mom and I'm totally okay with that. For year (and years) I've let her come. She's well behaved and polite, so that's not why I'm saying no. The thing is ... when I get a pedicure, I want to be alone. It's a time to relax and recharge; and for me, having my kids there isn't relaxing. They never do anything inappropriate, but as long as they are there, I'm still in mama mode. Just for an hour (or so) I don't want to be a mama, I want to be Kimberly.
I've felt a lot of quilt lately about having solo-pedicures. I would sneak off and get my toes done and not tell the kiddos where I was going. When Shelby would notice my freshly painted toes, I'd make all sorts of excuses why I didn't take her. I felt like the biggest jerk, not only for not taking her, but for lying to her about where I was going. But here's the deal: I'm allowed to have mama time. In fact, I need mama time. Self care is so important and I was feeling horrible about taking time for myself and sneaking around just to get a little me time. So not cool.
I decided it was time to change this. This weekend I got a pedicure on my own and when Shelby noticed my sparkly toes, I sat her down to have a talk. I explained to her how important it is for me to have some time to recharge and getting pedicures is one of my favorite ways of recharging. We made a deal that is still take her to get pedicures, but not every single time.
It was a huge weight off my soul to come clean and establish some boundaries when it comes to mama time.
Is there an activity you want to reclaim from you kids or your husband? Is there something you'd rather do alone, so you can recharge and relax?